Should You Sleep Train Your Baby? Here's How to Decide

By Callen Monari

Reviewed by a Pediatric Sleep Specialist - Kerri Young COTA/L, Certified Pediatric Sleep Coach, Founder: Blossoming Slumber

Sleep training is one of the most hotly debated topics in parenting, and the noise can make it hard to know what's actually right for your baby. This guide cuts through that noise and gives you the research-backed facts you need to make a confident, informed decision about your child's sleep.

What Is Sleep Training?

Before we look at the research lets take a moment to define what is … Sleep training refers to a range of methods designed to help babies learn to fall asleep independently – and crucially – to go back to sleep on their own when they wake during the night. Common sleep training approaches include:

The Ferber method

The Ferber method (also known as controlled crying, “graduated extinction” or the check and console method) involves parents checking in at gradually increasing intervals while the baby learns to self-settle (Ferber, 2006).

These intervals gradually get longer, allowing your baby to do the work of soothing themselves. With the Ferber method, you are allowed to pat your baby or talk to them, but not to pick them up.

Cry it out method

This is one of the most controversial infant sleep training methods. The Cry It Out (CIO) approach involves placing a baby down awake and allowing them to settle without parental intervention until morning.

The cry it out method is an extinction sleep training technique that’s based on behavioral psychology. The sought objective is to "extinguish" a previously reinforced behavior e.g. crying for attention or help falling asleep, by removing the reinforcer (the parent returning to comfort the child).

Critics of this method, including many child development and occupational therapy specialists, raise valid questions about what prolonged, unresponded-to crying means for a baby's developing nervous system and stress response system.

Fading method

This method(sometimes called "bedtime fading") relies on reducing parental sleep associations gradually, giving the baby's nervous system the time it needs to adjust rather than requiring it to cope with sudden change.

Implementing the Fading method requires careful scheduling, keeping a detailed sleep log, and maintaining a consistent routine throughout the process.

The fading method is classified as a gentle sleep training method.

Camping out/Chair method

Like the Cry it out method, camping out is also a form of extinction sleep training technique. With this method a parent sits/sleeps next to their child’s bed and gradually moves further away and cuts back on how much help they give as their child learns to fall asleep by themselves.

None of these methods is inherently right or wrong. What matters is which approach fits your baby, your parenting style, and your family's needs. It’s a good idea to consult your child and family sleep coach. They’ll be able to help you work out an approach suited to your child’s needs.

Association Fading Method

A new approach that combines Association Fading sleep training method with a sleep and feeding schedule to optimize a child’s ability to sleep by finding the right schedule that works with their sleep cycles and sleep hormones. It is a “middle of the road” sleep training method in that you can adapt the method to make it more gentle or elevated depending on the families needs. It is an evidence-based approach designed to work every time because it is backed by science!

Kerri at www.blossomingslumber.com specializes in this approach.

Is Your Baby Developmentally Ready?

This is where many families go wrong. Starting too early, or waiting too long. Here is what developmental science tells us:

Age

Most paediatricians and sleep researchers agree that babies are developmentally ready for sleep training between 4 and 6 months of age. Before four months, the circadian rhythm is still forming and babies have a genuine physiological need for frequent night feeds. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends waiting until at least four months (AAP, 2022).

Weight and feeding

Your baby should be gaining weight consistently and with your pediatrician's sign-off, be capable of going longer stretches between feeds. Most healthy babies do not need to feed every two hours by five to six months.

No major disruptions ahead

Sleep training works best when your baby's environment is stable. Avoid starting if a move, illness, travel, or return to work is imminent within the next two weeks.

*Newborns are able to be provided with a sleep and feeding schedule that optimizes sleep and helps them develop healthy sleep cycles. Sleep Training with various methods starts at 4-6 months.

Signs It Might Be Time

You may want to consider sleep training if:

1.Your baby consistently wakes more than 2–3 times per night past five months of age

2.Your baby can only fall asleep while feeding, being rocked, or with support that you have to replace repeatedly

3. Sleep deprivation is affecting your mental health, your relationship, or your ability to function at work

4. Your baby seems overtired and cranky despite spending a lot of time "trying to sleep"

5. Your child displays odd behaviors or increased energy at bedtime.

When to Wait

Sleep training is not always the right step. Consider waiting if:

1.Your baby is under four months old

2.Your baby is unwell, teething intensely, or going through a developmental leap

3.You are not emotionally ready — your consistency matters more than the specific method you choose

4.Your baby has a medical condition such as reflux or sleep apnoea that should be addressed first

How to Actually Decide

Here is a simple framework: weigh the cost of doing nothing against the cost of acting.

If everyone in your home is managing — your baby is growing well, you feel mentally stable, and night wakings feel sustainable, there is no urgency. Many babies gradually consolidate sleep on their own.

But if exhaustion is affecting your health, your relationship, or your ability to care for your baby, sleep training is not a cruel choice. The research is consistent: done at the right age, with the right method for your family, sleep training is safe, effective, and in many cases, a profound gift to the whole family.

Talk to your pediatrician, choose a method you can follow consistently, and trust that wanting your baby — and yourself — to sleep well is a loving instinct, not a selfish one.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). (2022). Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need? healthychildren.org

Ferber, R. (2006). Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (Revised ed.). Fireside.

Gradisar, M., Jackson, K., Spurrier, N. J., Gibson, J., Whitham, J., Williams, A. S., Dolby, R., & Kennaway, D. J. (2016). Behavioral interventions for infant sleep problems: A randomized controlled trial. Pediatrics, 137(6), e20151486.

Hiscock, H., Bayer, J. K., Hampton, A., Ukoumunne, O. C., & Wake, M. (2007). Long-term mother and child mental health effects of a population-based infant sleep intervention: Cluster-randomized, controlled trial. Pediatrics, 120(5), e1020–e1029.

Price, A. M., Wake, M., Ukoumunne, O. C., & Hiscock, H. (2012). Five-year follow-up of harms and benefits of behavioral infant sleep intervention: Randomized trial. Pediatrics, 130(4), 643–651.

Coauthored by Caren K. Monari, Child Sleep Enthusiast and Hellenistic Astrologer. Owner of @‌birthchartreading